Well, it's been a long hard road, but we've finally arrived at the day I've been looking forward to for a while now. July 1st - the day "The World Breaker" is officially available on Amazon.com and the Kindle. It's worldwide, it's a product, it's something I'm proud of, and we're ready to start marketing the heck out of it. Of course, Joe Ellis will be handling most of the advertising and marketing... for me, it's time to get a few days rest before I begin work on the sequel. I already know what happens, I already know how it happens, and I already know how it ends. I just have to get it down on paper, and do it in such a way that it envelopes the reader. By the time the sequel is launched, we'll have a pretty good idea about how my career as an author is looking, so this will be an interesting couple of months.
For me this is the culmination of many, many determined weeks in which I refused to quit. As many of you know, the previous years have not been kind to me. I have been in two relationships that ended in devastating disappointment, both of which left me standing in disbelief. In both I remained steadfast in my belief that values, optimism, and an unquenchable desire to do good ultimately overcome. And in both, once the dust had settled, I came to the realization that if I hadn't been torn down, I would already be headed towards success. That's why the book happened. It was time to shoot for success, difficulty or no.
Originally I wanted to own a restaurant and businesses. I wanted to start out as a teacher, give back to the community, and then make huge, massive dreams come true. Some of them did happen. I did complete college and became a Spanish teacher. I did work for a video game company and I saw my ideas implemented in their products. I was a 3D animator for Lee University and learned so, so much about computer graphics. My goals were to start businesses, start a restaurant, maybe work on a video game, maybe work for a theme park. I wanted to do something that made many people very, very happy. That's what I've been about. That's who I am.
And though I always kept my eyes upon that prize, I was detoured much more than I would have liked. I never changed, but people around me did. I'm still the same today that I was ten years ago, and I hope to be the same in fifty years that I am today... except with some wrinkles. No matter the hardships, no matter the difficulty, I refuse to change who I am. The whole world can change, but I will not. I believe in altruism, in helping others, about selflessness, and in progress. And I will continue to do so. That is why "The World Breaker" exists.
Many months ago I came to the realization that my dreams were slipping out of my hands. I realized that though I had been dreaming for years and years and years... my dreams weren't any closer to happening, and instead I was being derailed toward a normal life. And I don't want normal. It's not that I'm special or more important than anybody else... it's just that I want to do special and important things. And so I began to write a book.
It began when I read a popular book series - a very popular book series. And as I read the first book, I had the arrogant thought that I could do this. In fact... I thought I could do better than that. Now, you may have already read my book and you may think that's a bunch of rubbish because you think my book isn't all that great. But then again, maybe you do think it's pretty good. That's the risk I took. I thought that if I really felt I could write at that level, then I should go for it because otherwise I was just touting myself without any action. So I took the plunge. And now there's a real book out there.
I hope everyone enjoys the book. I hope that it reveals truths to you and morals as well... I hope you think about things you might not think about otherwise. I hope it takes you on an adventure and introduces you to a world that you begin to care about. But most importantly, I hope that everyone keeps going for their passions, regardless of the obstacles, regardless of the trials, and regardless of the odds. Do your passion if your passion is good for you and others.
There's a great big, beautiful tomorrow,
Shining at the end of every day.
There's a great big, beautiful tomorrow,
And tomorrow is just a dream away.
Man has a dream, and that's the start,
He follows his dream with mind and heart.
And when it becomes a reality,
It's a dream come true for you and me.
- Carousel of Progress
Here's to our dreams,
Justin Frazier
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
The Antithesis of Carpe the Day
Dear Inventors...
Could someone please invent something to mow my yard?
And please clean my dishes too?
Roomba's nice,
So how about we get the price to just a buck or two?
Okay, stop. Writing poetry is hard. It has to rhyme and junk. Let's switch over to just normal stuff, shall we? I figure that requires enough little neurons firing already.
Honestly, how much time in the day is spent with the mundane, ordinary, every day, [insert additional adjective meaning the same, redundant thing] chores around the house? No, I don't want to do my laundry anymore. I have things to do. No, I don't want to pressure wash the deck, nor does water sealing it sound like a splendid, good time. I just want to sit on my fat, lazy butt and play Mortal Kombat all day, every day, without fail. I may spend the caloric output needed to switch over to Hulu and watch reruns of The Office... but that's my limit!
Seriously... I don't want to feed the dogs. I don't want to water them. I don't want to do groceries, or drive, or take a walk just because my calf muscles are deteriorating. Machines should be able to do that. And I don't want to chew my Big Mac just to be able to enjoy it before washing it down with a vanilla shake (and mighty nice whipped cream may I add) - is there not some blasted machine that can get that pumped straight to the right taste buds for my enjoyment?
Ugh, I don't want to go on dates or get to know women. They should just love me for the blob of glory that I am. Honestly, there should be a line at my door right now of hot, athletic, genius women. I have no idea why that isn't happening. And I would rather like it if vegetables would grow straight out of the ground with no effort whatsoever. I mean, what was God thinking when He failed to realize that filet mignon plants should sprout like dandelions all around my fence? Of course, you know if He did, He'd forget to have 'em medium rare... you'd probably have to actually cook the darn things.
I just want to lay in a waterbed and never get up. Just let me control Pacman with eye movements and have everything handed to me on a silver - nay - platinum tray. I want to be bathed and scrubbed by a Honduran maid from a bucket of pure Perrier. I want to be lavished with exotic delicacies and pulled in a beautiful carriage by a herd of wild zebras. And you know what? While we're at it, I want a tail. A glorious, wonderful tail so that I can control a mouse while I simultaneously type on the keyboard. And both of those things already take way too much effort.
So how's about this? Why not just cut off my head, sustain it, drop it in a Futurama-esque bowl, and let me control some cybornetic body that requires absolutely no effort whatsoever? And I want endorphins pumped straight into my brain. Tons of 'em. I want to be happy all the time with no work whatsoever and for no reason at all.
And then I realize... "Hey, I actually like being busy, having to do things, and being active. Being totally lazy would be a real drag."
So get up and go do something today. You can be lazy and watch the world go by when you're decrepid. In the words of Michael King, "Carpe the day, baby!"
Could someone please invent something to mow my yard?
And please clean my dishes too?
Roomba's nice,
So how about we get the price to just a buck or two?
Okay, stop. Writing poetry is hard. It has to rhyme and junk. Let's switch over to just normal stuff, shall we? I figure that requires enough little neurons firing already.
Honestly, how much time in the day is spent with the mundane, ordinary, every day, [insert additional adjective meaning the same, redundant thing] chores around the house? No, I don't want to do my laundry anymore. I have things to do. No, I don't want to pressure wash the deck, nor does water sealing it sound like a splendid, good time. I just want to sit on my fat, lazy butt and play Mortal Kombat all day, every day, without fail. I may spend the caloric output needed to switch over to Hulu and watch reruns of The Office... but that's my limit!
Seriously... I don't want to feed the dogs. I don't want to water them. I don't want to do groceries, or drive, or take a walk just because my calf muscles are deteriorating. Machines should be able to do that. And I don't want to chew my Big Mac just to be able to enjoy it before washing it down with a vanilla shake (and mighty nice whipped cream may I add) - is there not some blasted machine that can get that pumped straight to the right taste buds for my enjoyment?
Ugh, I don't want to go on dates or get to know women. They should just love me for the blob of glory that I am. Honestly, there should be a line at my door right now of hot, athletic, genius women. I have no idea why that isn't happening. And I would rather like it if vegetables would grow straight out of the ground with no effort whatsoever. I mean, what was God thinking when He failed to realize that filet mignon plants should sprout like dandelions all around my fence? Of course, you know if He did, He'd forget to have 'em medium rare... you'd probably have to actually cook the darn things.
I just want to lay in a waterbed and never get up. Just let me control Pacman with eye movements and have everything handed to me on a silver - nay - platinum tray. I want to be bathed and scrubbed by a Honduran maid from a bucket of pure Perrier. I want to be lavished with exotic delicacies and pulled in a beautiful carriage by a herd of wild zebras. And you know what? While we're at it, I want a tail. A glorious, wonderful tail so that I can control a mouse while I simultaneously type on the keyboard. And both of those things already take way too much effort.
So how's about this? Why not just cut off my head, sustain it, drop it in a Futurama-esque bowl, and let me control some cybornetic body that requires absolutely no effort whatsoever? And I want endorphins pumped straight into my brain. Tons of 'em. I want to be happy all the time with no work whatsoever and for no reason at all.
And then I realize... "Hey, I actually like being busy, having to do things, and being active. Being totally lazy would be a real drag."
So get up and go do something today. You can be lazy and watch the world go by when you're decrepid. In the words of Michael King, "Carpe the day, baby!"
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Alpocalypse: A Review
Weird Al Yankovic's latest album (five years in the making) is a tremendous achievement of comedy and style. Whereas most comedy music acts need to use some level of shock to add humor to their prose, Yankovic is able to carry an entire album on ideas that easily make the PG label. Whereas the group Lonely Island sings songs about sexual acts or lyrics about being on a boat that receives a good deal of its comedy from gratuitous profanity, Weird Al can transform Taylor Swift's "You Belong With Me" into "TMZ" and craft a clever bit of lyrics that will keep its value as long as TMZ does. That's not to say that other styles of comedy music aren't funny... it's just to say that Weird Al remains in another stratosphere because of his self-handicapping (which in turn makes his music less dated).
So here's a quick rundown of each song on the album:
1. "Perform This Way" (Parody of Lady Gaga's "Born This Way") - While the song is supposed to be the major hit on the album, the quality of the upcoming video for the song will really be what determines how far this one goes. The lyrics aren't up to par with "White and Nerdy," but to be fair, there just aren't enough lyrics in the original song to give Yankovic a chance to change things enough. It's an interesting choice for his big single, but if the video is excellent (and there's plenty of subject material) then it'll be golden.
2. "CNR" - CNR is one of the weaker songs in this latest offering. It essentially takes the Chuck Norris joke idea to melody and suffers Walker Texas Ranger for Charles Neslon Riley. It might be funnier if the Chuck Norris jokes on the web weren't already (mostly) funnier than what is in the song. The other problem is that "CNR" is such a niche celebrity that many listeners won't be familiar with the subject of the song, thus making it much less funny. As a send up of Riley, the song is nice.
3. "TMZ" - Here is an excellent bit of lyrics, showing that when Al has a bevy of words to work with, he can do wonders. Everything here is crisp and catchy, with a wonderful two-sided mocking of both TMZ and celebrities that switches late song. The song is one of the best on the album.
4. "Skipper Dan" - A major departure for Yankovic, this little diddy is extremely subtle in its humor. Chances are it won't be a major hit by any means, but I came away feeling it's the best song on the album. If you've ever felt you weren't acheiving your potential and/or you've been on the Jungle Cruise ride in a Disney Park, you'll come away from this song appreciating that Weird Al knows how to be funny without being in yoru face. It's a superb mocking of anybody who has to be repetitious in their job... melancholy comedy at its best. Is it possible for a song about Adventureland to be border-line emo?
5. "Polka Face" - A polka medley of recent hits by various artists. It's another nice polka from Weird Al, with several songs being particularly funny in this format ("I Kissed a Girl" and "Blame It").
6. "Craigslist" - Never has Yankovic ever done a style parody this well. In a total send-up of The Doors, Al mimmicks Jimmy Henderson with great flair, even getting The Doors' keyboardist to join in on the recording. The material here isn't nearly as funny as Al can be, but in an odd twist, the skill in replicating the original band makes the track pass with flying colors.
7. "Party in the CIA" (Parody of "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus) - The weakest of the parodies on the album, the song takes a different turn for Al by being very slightly political. It's catchy, it's funny, and on most albums it would be considered excellent. The problem is this is from the Prince of Parody... so it simply can't hold its own against other great additions on this collection.
8. "Ringtone" - It's in the style of Queen. It sucks. I'm sorry, this song just isn't very good at all. The lyrics aren't funny, the music is somewhat grating, and that's all there is to it. In every good album, there's gotta be one stinker.
9. "Another Tattoo" (Parody of "Nothing on You" by B.o.B. featuring Bruno Mars) - The best parody on the album is the ninth track on the disc. It's tremendous. Al is at his best when he takes a song with few lyrics and can turn it into something totally different that could be a comedy song all on its own, even if it wasn't a parody. This one matches the criteria. The song mocks those with a mass-tattoo fetish, and it does so marvelously. There are so many little jokes in this song that the average person may miss on the first listen.
10. "If That Isn't Love" - One of Al's very best original songs ever. I'd tell you more about it, but you need to listen to it without any spoilers. The first few lines are the worst of the song, and that means it's only going to get better and better... and that's a sign of a great, great comedy song.
11. "Whatever You Like" (Parody of "Whatever You Like" by T.I.) - It's okay. An average parody that doesn't feature the crisp lyrics Al is known for. It's decent enough, but again, the potential for the video means it may really work well on YouTube.
12. "Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me" - The last song is a wonderful crescendo. Honestly, it's just a beautiful, beautiful piece of humor that really shows that Weird Al Yankovic is the best in the genre he practically created. It begins like a wedding song arrangement and just keeps getting better and better and better. Tremendous.
And there's my review that went much longer and much more in-depth than I had intended.
So here's a quick rundown of each song on the album:
1. "Perform This Way" (Parody of Lady Gaga's "Born This Way") - While the song is supposed to be the major hit on the album, the quality of the upcoming video for the song will really be what determines how far this one goes. The lyrics aren't up to par with "White and Nerdy," but to be fair, there just aren't enough lyrics in the original song to give Yankovic a chance to change things enough. It's an interesting choice for his big single, but if the video is excellent (and there's plenty of subject material) then it'll be golden.
2. "CNR" - CNR is one of the weaker songs in this latest offering. It essentially takes the Chuck Norris joke idea to melody and suffers Walker Texas Ranger for Charles Neslon Riley. It might be funnier if the Chuck Norris jokes on the web weren't already (mostly) funnier than what is in the song. The other problem is that "CNR" is such a niche celebrity that many listeners won't be familiar with the subject of the song, thus making it much less funny. As a send up of Riley, the song is nice.
3. "TMZ" - Here is an excellent bit of lyrics, showing that when Al has a bevy of words to work with, he can do wonders. Everything here is crisp and catchy, with a wonderful two-sided mocking of both TMZ and celebrities that switches late song. The song is one of the best on the album.
4. "Skipper Dan" - A major departure for Yankovic, this little diddy is extremely subtle in its humor. Chances are it won't be a major hit by any means, but I came away feeling it's the best song on the album. If you've ever felt you weren't acheiving your potential and/or you've been on the Jungle Cruise ride in a Disney Park, you'll come away from this song appreciating that Weird Al knows how to be funny without being in yoru face. It's a superb mocking of anybody who has to be repetitious in their job... melancholy comedy at its best. Is it possible for a song about Adventureland to be border-line emo?
5. "Polka Face" - A polka medley of recent hits by various artists. It's another nice polka from Weird Al, with several songs being particularly funny in this format ("I Kissed a Girl" and "Blame It").
6. "Craigslist" - Never has Yankovic ever done a style parody this well. In a total send-up of The Doors, Al mimmicks Jimmy Henderson with great flair, even getting The Doors' keyboardist to join in on the recording. The material here isn't nearly as funny as Al can be, but in an odd twist, the skill in replicating the original band makes the track pass with flying colors.
7. "Party in the CIA" (Parody of "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus) - The weakest of the parodies on the album, the song takes a different turn for Al by being very slightly political. It's catchy, it's funny, and on most albums it would be considered excellent. The problem is this is from the Prince of Parody... so it simply can't hold its own against other great additions on this collection.
8. "Ringtone" - It's in the style of Queen. It sucks. I'm sorry, this song just isn't very good at all. The lyrics aren't funny, the music is somewhat grating, and that's all there is to it. In every good album, there's gotta be one stinker.
9. "Another Tattoo" (Parody of "Nothing on You" by B.o.B. featuring Bruno Mars) - The best parody on the album is the ninth track on the disc. It's tremendous. Al is at his best when he takes a song with few lyrics and can turn it into something totally different that could be a comedy song all on its own, even if it wasn't a parody. This one matches the criteria. The song mocks those with a mass-tattoo fetish, and it does so marvelously. There are so many little jokes in this song that the average person may miss on the first listen.
10. "If That Isn't Love" - One of Al's very best original songs ever. I'd tell you more about it, but you need to listen to it without any spoilers. The first few lines are the worst of the song, and that means it's only going to get better and better... and that's a sign of a great, great comedy song.
11. "Whatever You Like" (Parody of "Whatever You Like" by T.I.) - It's okay. An average parody that doesn't feature the crisp lyrics Al is known for. It's decent enough, but again, the potential for the video means it may really work well on YouTube.
12. "Stop Forwarding That Crap to Me" - The last song is a wonderful crescendo. Honestly, it's just a beautiful, beautiful piece of humor that really shows that Weird Al Yankovic is the best in the genre he practically created. It begins like a wedding song arrangement and just keeps getting better and better and better. Tremendous.
And there's my review that went much longer and much more in-depth than I had intended.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The Sky's the Limit
For the past two days, I read the final copy of "The World Breaker: Limited First Edition" from cover to cover... not as an author, not as an editor, but finally for entertainment. I suppose this was the sixth or seventh time I had read the story, but my first time reading it in the final form. Thank goodness it is so good.
I began writing "The World Breaker" in December of 2010. In April of 2011 I had finished the story and began the editing process with a team of literary assistants. Although we decided on the July 1st deadline, I quickly realized that we would be pushing it to have the book available in time. After all, some people take years to write a novel... this would be less than seven months. Still, time is valuable and every day a missed opportunity, so I went about working as hard and as dilligently as I could to finish on time. The book was all in my head, it was just a matter of getting it on paper. At one point, Joe Ellis and I were up until 2 AM working to make a deadline. Writing the book truly became my second, full-time job.
So it is with great satisfaction that I have come to the conclusion of that work. It's not conclusion in that I'll never write again... actually I'll start on the sequel in full force a week into July. It's that there is a finished product sitting behind me right now. It's great. My goal originally had been to write something that was Best Seller worthy, even if it didn't sell ten copies. Well, right now we've made that goal - the book is an amazing story, 110,000 words long, about a man who has nearly lost everything in his life and his reclamation of who he is as he works for a company about to change the world through a new virtual reality system. It's deep, it's fun, it has tons of action, it has romance... it's a tour de force. Don't believe me? Buy it and see. I can say all these things now because I have finally read it in its final form, and I am proud of it. It takes a lot for me to be proud of something.
I now have some idea of what I want to do. With the huge potential of this book to sell well if we market it in the right ways and get it in the right hands, I want to be an author. I am an author I suppose. But I want to finish this series, as well as write another series that is in my head. Hopefully they'll be successful and I can use them as a springboard to do other things and use my creativity in all the ways I've had stored up in my noggin. If they don't sell tremendously... well, I can say that I've written a book. And it's a book I'm very proud to have my name adorning.
And that'll do just fine for me, even though the sky's the limit.
I began writing "The World Breaker" in December of 2010. In April of 2011 I had finished the story and began the editing process with a team of literary assistants. Although we decided on the July 1st deadline, I quickly realized that we would be pushing it to have the book available in time. After all, some people take years to write a novel... this would be less than seven months. Still, time is valuable and every day a missed opportunity, so I went about working as hard and as dilligently as I could to finish on time. The book was all in my head, it was just a matter of getting it on paper. At one point, Joe Ellis and I were up until 2 AM working to make a deadline. Writing the book truly became my second, full-time job.
So it is with great satisfaction that I have come to the conclusion of that work. It's not conclusion in that I'll never write again... actually I'll start on the sequel in full force a week into July. It's that there is a finished product sitting behind me right now. It's great. My goal originally had been to write something that was Best Seller worthy, even if it didn't sell ten copies. Well, right now we've made that goal - the book is an amazing story, 110,000 words long, about a man who has nearly lost everything in his life and his reclamation of who he is as he works for a company about to change the world through a new virtual reality system. It's deep, it's fun, it has tons of action, it has romance... it's a tour de force. Don't believe me? Buy it and see. I can say all these things now because I have finally read it in its final form, and I am proud of it. It takes a lot for me to be proud of something.
I now have some idea of what I want to do. With the huge potential of this book to sell well if we market it in the right ways and get it in the right hands, I want to be an author. I am an author I suppose. But I want to finish this series, as well as write another series that is in my head. Hopefully they'll be successful and I can use them as a springboard to do other things and use my creativity in all the ways I've had stored up in my noggin. If they don't sell tremendously... well, I can say that I've written a book. And it's a book I'm very proud to have my name adorning.
And that'll do just fine for me, even though the sky's the limit.
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